Swazi Observer

FULL STORY

THE WIFE, HER HUSBAND AND THE HOUSE MAID

By Dumisa Dlamini | 2018-09-22

If from creation the Almighty created a woman to be of assistant to the man, her husband might have also created themselves their own helpers from maids.

It is very difficult nowadays to come across a family from the middle class upwards that does not have a maid in the house. Now for starters, women are very desirous to run the household in a way and manner they deem fit.

They would manage the house, family and affairs, the husband inclusive, ngendlela yabo lefunwa ngibo futsi letsandvwa ngibo. At the end of the day, you are all going to be what the woman of the house wants, cooks and disposes herself to be. If your wife is a control freak and a champion of neatness and order, everyone in the house will toe the line. A man is only good when he makes providence for his wife’s budgetary needs for the house. There has been a little shift on that.

Women today want their husbands to be part of the house keeping. They do not understand how he would be sprawled on the sofa whilst she is laboriously preparing supper in the kitchen. She will eventually serve the meal grumpy because she feels uyagcilateka. That is the beginning of problems when your wife afuna ugezetitja and also do laundry, a problem because most men ain’t willing to go there, no matter how much they love their wives. The wife then hires the maid to assist her run the household.

Now Scales does not know of any school in the country or institution for that matter that trains maids. Most of them come into the houses they are hired to unaccomplished, plain, and scary, with strong rural backgrounds ngoba vele labaningi basuka lemakhaya. Your wife only has to make a few calls to friends and relatives looking for a maid ngoba ibalekile lena beyikhona. In a matter of days she would have been delivered got one by herself. The husband is hardly involved in the scouting of a maid and given very little to choice to approve the candidate, who for as long as she chooses, would mind over his children and household. You see, the wife is a career woman and cannot put up with the entire housework and besides, it is not safe to leave the house unattended all day long. However, the paradox lies in that you shall be leaving the house with a total stranger.

How safe is that? When the maid comes, wetfusa ngisho labantfwana the way she is intimidated herself or pompous for one who is supposed to take care of their welfare whilst mummy is busy with her career. The husband has to accept this strange child, girl or woman to assist his wife cope in the house. That said, it cannot be left out that some house maids come accomplished, beautiful batati futsi tintfo. In a minute she has been in the house she would have dusted here, cleaned there, removed that and the house is sparkling spotlessly clean under her short spell of housekeeping. Those are very dangerous. Look, Societal Scales is digressing now.

The moment the maid adapts to her working environment and is depicted as averagely performing her duties, the woman of the house wife to her husband, will derelict her duties. She will be detached from everything and anything, including her husband. If she is working, she is even likely to bring work to the house in the knowledge that the house maid will do everything. It is surprising how many are quiet about this kind of derelict where their wives leave everything to the maid. All she does is to take a bath and also demand supper like the husband and she would be off to bed to browse the net or her cellphone. First thing in the morning, your wife would too late to do anything.

The kids and their lunch boxes are all responsibility of the maid. She may leave whilst the husband is asleep and in the event he needs breakfast, utamupha kudla sisi or anti. Imagine leaving such a delicate duty-feeding your husband to a stranger - the house maid. He will have that breakfast no matter how badly prepared it may be. In the event he complains, the woman, his wife, would take it as a personal attack. Akushiwo kutsi kudla kwemfati wakho kubi even when you can taste that udla ludluva nje. The same principle extends to the maid hired by your wife. You are not going to complain about anything, lest your wife gets offended. Maphumulo, a school teacher wanted a certain shirt amongst his clothes he wanted to wear that day. His wife LaNdzinisa, a corporate banker, didn’t even know where it was.

She referred him to the maid. The man was angry, “Kantsi ngubani umfati wami yeLaNdzinisa?” She was livid and sprayed him with alls sorts of confrontational words, “Ufuna umfati noma lihembe lakho yeMaphumulo. He never worried her again. From that day henceforth, he told the maid specifically how he wanted his meals prepared and his clothes mended. Lots of husbands survive that way in their houses. Bafati sebacamalata njengawo emadvodza and have no time for housekeeping, let alone looking after their husbands.

House maids get to know too much about families, even about the skeletons in their cupboards, because they are exposed to everything in their line of duty. This man who was taken ill at work asked his colleagues to call their maid because his wife was unlikely to pick the calls for she was forever busy. True to his assertion his wife could not pick her phone after 19 attempts yet the maid picked the first ring and was quickly at the clinic nato tonkhe tintfo babe langatidzinga whilst admitted.

Even if he were to be home bound due to ailment, maids take care of emadvodza ebafati whilst madam is at work. The maid will bath the man, feed him and give him his medication. She monitors the sickness and can tell if he is getting worse or better, only to report same to madam. Societal Scales wonders how someone with an assistant would then fail to assist her husband. Bayahlupha ke laba labakhutsele besebabuye babebahle. The man will start to have darting eyes towards the house maid. He is even likely to take half-days or off-days so he could be at home. Before long, he would have enjoyed other delicacies- the Mound – courtesy of the dutiful maid who is also not scared by the idea of kuvuka phasi kwesifuba sababe should the opportunity avail itself.

All Scales is saying is that the wife has delegated all the duties of looking after her husband to the maid who is a woman herself. The man, her husband, is subjected and exposed to sorts of negligence and unhealthy undertakings from a maid who is never his wife in the first place. But because women are employed, powerful and moneyed themselves, he has very little to complain about. However, when push comes to shove, he will go out to look for a woman who truly cares for him or agile tiga nje and impregnate the maid. It remains an imbalance if the concept and acquisition of a house maid is a good or bad idea for couples who live together as a wife and husband assisted by a maid!

share story