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DOES A HUSBAND EVER STRIKE A BALANCE BETWEEN HIS WIFE AND MISTRESS?

By Dumisa Dlamini | 2019-09-21

There is a social, sinful and personal force that compels men to be always on the wrong side of their marital bed.

This is one sin their wives condemn and hate the most and notwithstanding the confrontation from them, which, at times become nasty, men cheat, been cheating and will ever cheat. Society, men themselves have dressed this atrocious marital bad habit with glossy colours at times blaming their very masculinity gender as principal cause they cannot be satisfied with and be loyal to one woman. The most (im)balanced fact here is that they cheat with other women, who at times have also been victims of cheating in their current or previous marriages. This isa vicious circle wherein men appear to be victims rather than culprits of the habit. Bayahlupheka bobabe labagangako and never find peace kulomshikashika wekukhwacela away from their legal spouses. He will have to spread himself too thin between his wife, family and the other illicit relationship(s) nurtured outside the home front. All men will start cheating hoping and convincing themselves they will be careful and ensure their wives never find out. The latter always do find out anyway. She can be strongly suspicious and crack on substantial and conclusive evidence that Babe waMcokoteli is cheating on her. Thus whether discreet or not men are always caught they are cheating and the end result is pang in their married life!

Take for instance a normal weekend wherein your good wife will prepare you a delicious breakfast and set you a beautiful table with the childrens. Everybody around the table is happy and the children are enjoying the presence of their parents. You as the husband and dad to the children ain’t happy because your girlfriend is sending you nagging messages in your phone. She will tell you that she is still in bed and won’t come out of the sheets until you come, kube khona lomenta kona and then take her to town. She is giving very little thought that your wife could also be desirous of the same treatment from you, legally so because you are her husband. Should you not respond (positively) to those texts, she will further spray you and guilt-trip you all the way. “Awunendzaba nami ngoba ugodlwe ngummfati wakho, minengibulawa ngemakhata la” In that threat, she may even tell you she is going out with friends for lunch in Maputo and you start to worry what kind of friends shall be taking her there. Maybe ngulelibandla le navigating compass that will show her he best places in Maputo and further navigate their way to your illicit packet of sugar, kubuye sekusele 1kg from the packed 3kg. In a warm house and benign atmosphere, the man has half-joy. His heart, mind, body and soul is with the other woman. Every minute counts against him, for the girlfriend will continue nagging him!

Thabo Magongo sneaked out of the house one Saturday morning claiming he needed a quick hour in the office. The story is, he was checking on his girlfriend who was 70km away from his house. He broke all the rules and regulations of driving so he could shorten the time on the road. He found the woman on the verge of going to town but quickly settled down when the married man she loved showed her door. It was the care and time she put in her cooking that Thabo realised he was not expected to leave any time soon like he had intended. He was later fed in the stomach and the woman demanded the shared Pound Of Flesh so she could also be fed- below the stomach. By the time he announced his intention to leave, his wife back home abesavele amehlwana and he had missed eight calls from her.

Here, Nomagagasi the girlfriend was creating love waves so he could sleep over, naye ufuna sekuke kuse nje agodlwe yindvodza! Quite clearly he left her upset, he could not sleep over.

The hardest battle was fought in the house where his wife wanted to know where he had been all that time. She was also upset, she went to bed early wefika wafulatsela for the duration of the night.

Thabo had successfully angered two women he claimed to love in a space of 12 hours and spent the remainder of the day brooding about his blunder. You know sometimes your wife wouldn’t suspect let alone know that the whole afternoon you weren’t around you were cheating. You could have a good time and a ball in-between-the sheets for the entire day. Back in the marital bedroom, the wife is so sexily skimpy, has arrayed roses from the door right unto the bed. She wants fire because she is ready to give fire. Lo and Behold! Ukhandza make umbele utsambe bhece because tiyimunyele etsafeni! There shall be war, really war in that bedroom, courtesy of the husband’s cheating ways!

Draining

At times the thin spread of a man in-between two or three women can be economically draining. Samson Ndzabandzaba was once cautioned by his girlfriend that abomupha nayelomutsi wetintfombi because she was capable to give him as much pleasure in the bedroom in the same measure his wife does. Wetfuka, thought about it and found it to be true.

He started to budget monthly for her stipend, which of course cut deep unto his wallet. Uyakubona umfati wakho nasewucale kudiza outside your family. Whilst gathering evidence, she would stop making providence of any monetary assistance. Instead she makes a lot of demands, can even be deliberately wasteful so that you don’t have much to spare for your side kicks.

In the event you confront her on these endless demands and prodigality, she will bit back, “Ingani lengaphandle uyikhipha ungatsentsesi.” No man ever had a solid argument against this line lest you are given graphic details of how much you spend out there, kubani, lokuphi futsi. Women are an investigative lot. She would have “googled”, your accounts, “GPSed” your movements and found where you waste your money.

Gabriel Msibi, a young budding banker who just started work could not afford to save much from his salary.

His wife, a nurse stopped doing anything in the house with her pay. She even spent her days with friends in the clinic even when she was off-duty. That gave the young man time to spend with the other woman.

However, each time he mentioned he was on his way, he would be sent a list of groceries to come along with. He realised later kutsi vele ufana nendvodza yesitsembu. He stopped the affair, sat his wife down, apologised and resumed a normal life. The imbalance is that sticking to one’s wife only may also not be a solution because she could not be much into you in the first place.

Babusy bafati balonyaka, with their careers, business, friends, associations nako ke kujola impela nje. She will leave you in the house and give you a long list of things that need her attention in the forty-eight hours called a weekend. She has the children attended by the maid.

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