By Dumisa Dlamini | 2018-05-26
Without being a laid down rule there is a clandestine parental and societal feeling that a male child makes their bearers prouder than the other gender of children.
Societal scales is not sparking or going into a debate about that but a family where children begotten lack the vital third leg liyakhalelwakutsiwe lifile lelikhaya. Of the two parents, it is also assumed that the father is even prouder to have his boys so much that if angabatfoli kumake he may escape from the marital stable to look for one from infidelity sheets. You could be a product of that.
Now look, we are all born under different, complicated, unfaithful and bizarre circumstances and whatever the situation under which you were born you are your father’s son. The question is which father? Societal Scales is wondering what exactly gives a man, a son, a boy that he is his father’s real and biological son. Is it the fact you have always known so, you were told so or the man has always been around for your needs? Whilst some people’s biological origins have been endorsed by their purported fathers, family and society, some had to undergo scientific means to prove same. Some still have their paternity status in dispute. The indigenous hold it that umntfwana watiwa ngunina but often times the maternal version of paternity has erred, misled and unreliable-though at times accidentally on purpose.
Scales once attended a funeral of a young man who had taken his own life. Circulating rumours in the community were to the extent that he was overly depressed because his father had always been disputed that he was his son. The old man would even go to the extent of physical abusing his wife, the chap’s mom, “Tjela lomntfwana kutsi wakabani”. The dispute ate into his ego and that led to him committing suicide. Now the most interesting aspect of the whole scenario was that those who walked into the yard were ashen shocked to see the old man- the deceased’s father a spitting image of the his late son. Many were wondering exactly where the dispute came. He also had a fair and good resemblance of his sibling brothers.
Most people depends on the look-alike to their parents to give them a strong conviction of paternal belonging. That is why this incident of the Mazibuko family was confusing a lot of minds during, and after the funeral. Scales is still baffled, two decades ago after witnessing this incident as to why would a man deny paternity of a child lofana naye like a carbon copied specimen. Along those lines some children are discriminated on the basis that lomfana akafani nani neyise. It would be worse when he is compared alongside another sibling be she female or male who looks exactly like the old man. The imbalance is, save for scientific measures there is no clear cut bench mark as to what makes you confident you are your father’s son.
Some boys, young men and grown ups have lived all their lives convinced they belong to this family yet their mothers hold a different information and knowledge kutsi wena mbamba uwakabani. This business mogul who has been fathering six girls breathed joy all the way to the clinic when he was told LaMatsebula utsenge emasenjana in the clinic. Save for the complexion the boy did not look anything like the father yet the old man dotted on him and loved him to the core.
He roped him in all business enterprises such that as he aged he placed him on top of all the business ventures he had. He died. The young man wanted to continue the legacy and in the process he bullying his mother and sisters at times avule sitolo two hours after he stipulated time. His mother called him to order. “Wena ungumntfwanami hayiwaSibandze, kukhala sami sicatfulo etintfweni teyihlo.’ She later narrated him about his paternity watibona naye kutsi ufana nabo laba bakaSihlongonyane. The mother went on to tell him that whatever inheritance he would have it would be from her estate hhayi kwaGoje.
Broken
He was broken quite clearly but he eventually got to know the truth from a reliable source-his mother. No sooner had the word been out that he had been stripped of all powers than neighbours got to talk about the boy’s actualpaternity.All along some knew and others suspected he was not a Sibandze. You know uma indvodza itsandza umfati by extension he loves her children and would stand in a prejudiced position to scrutinise their paternity. Love has this tendency of not questioning those pretty close to your heart. They get away with murder uhlahle emehlo ubukile.
A polygamous family was up in arms when their father was buried, a very staunch traditionalist himself who boasted of six wives and over forty children. Amongst these were his sons coming kuto tonkhe letindlu. Now society has a tendency of neglecting and ignoring succession plan even to the level of families. When the time to succeed the incumbent is never an automatic choice and often times than not it becomes survival of the fittest and the elimination of the unfit much to the depletion of the dynasty. The case was similar in this regard whereupon the preferred inkhosana got a scathing attack from a half-brother who openly questioned his paternity, “Ufana nabani Mbhekwa lakhaya, akasiye wakitsi lomuntfu.” A group of his half siblings sprang unto him with a barrage of verbal attack. They told him they endorsed the brother whose paternity he was suspicious of.
Amusement
According to their view he was a true son of the old man and very much eligible to lead the family to the future. On the contrary one was heard shouting much to the amusement of the mourners by the graveside, ‘Tsine sisola wena kutsi awusiye wababe, uligoya ngiko unembango kangaka.” The debate was exposing and provocative. Most of those polygamous sons were left asking themselves questions if really they were their father’s sons and some were basking in complacence for they had always been endorsed by the public that they resemble their father in many counts than one.
Sometimes the man who brings you up is your father by extension of being a brother to your actual biological father. There was crossing of floors wherein your mother clandestinely enjoyed the warmth ofsibhuluja semkhula wakhe and thus you were conceived. A certain Gagambane Mamba had always been displaying a peculiar behaviour from his youthful stage. Every time he came out to play abeshiya laba besisu sakabo and play nebantfwana bakababelomncane. He kept and stuck with them until he was matured. This day there was a big indzaba endlunkhulu and each indlu was invited to come and take their position inside the big house.
Guess what, Gagambane wedged himself in-between kababe lomncane and his siblings took offence and addressed the issue. That got the whole tindlu thinking as to who really was Gagambane’s dad. Not only was he keeping with his cousins but he had mannerisms and features that picked out quite easily with Mjojomba,uyise lomncane. Even scientific measure cannot solve this one because these people can possess the same genes as their parents are related. Such situations were at times orchestrated by the very family wherein the incumbent husband would be indisposed, absent or disposing a certain inability to reproduce. Whilst utibita ngemfana waVika the family knows you are actually Mciniseli’s Offspring. Your paternity is treated as tibi tendlu!
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