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WHEN EXCESSIVE INTAKE OF ALCOHOL INDULGES YOU IN A SEX SCANDAL

By Dumisa Dlamini | 2018-04-21

The gospel has apparently failed to impress upon people in general and the congregants, in particular that sex is Holy Communion between two people, married, loyal and faithful to each other.

Given today’s behaviour of the owners of the Joystick and the custodians of the Delicacy Mound, that laid down religious principle has been overruled. Now sex has been modified and there is nothing serious and solemn about it anymore.

The holy sport can be very casual, anywhere, everywhere, anytime, all the time and with anyone with anyone who complies or forced to the action. As you read this piece of literature, someone is having sex, casually somewhere in a place certainly not designed and intended for the sacred action.

Scales can bet you his last rusty shilling, of all occasions and places, none rains sex to society than the places where there has been an excessive imbibing of alcohol.

Once the wine is in the wit, it escapes the person and he develops Dutch courage to approach a total stranger for sex.

Believe Scales here, in today’s world where tjwala sebanatfwa nabantfwana and the members of Eve’s lot, anyone be it a child, woman or man can ask, have and enjoy sex anywhere.

Now, that is extremely dangerous, not only because of the consequences that may be reaped from that irresponsible behaviour but also from the unpalatable public exposure the culprits of casual and drunken sex can be subjected to. When nicely inebriated, your Johnny boy Zakes, Boy George and Boyzyn can have sex with a woman they have seen and met for the first time right inside a public toilet etjwaleni kugcwele bantfu badzakwe bonkhe futsi.

This shocked Mgedezi Ngcamphalala of Maphobeni visited a friend in Matsapha who later took him out for drinks in a popular drinking spot.

Asabufake kahle ematfunjini umfoka Mdlalose he went to the loo to pass water. Lo and Behold, as he was pushing the door first normally and later forcefully, it would still not open. A funny noise attracted him as something was banging the door.

He pushed with all his might and Lo and Behold, there was a man, his pants down to his ankles akhwesha asondzela matima behind a woman whose long hair was touching on the very toilet seat he was gunning for. Had he been sober he would have ran away but the same influence on the culprits made him watch a live sexual movie.

“Yeyi nina, nenzani la, singamadoda nathi siyayifuna lento oyenzayo kulodade.” Before long everyone in the bar knew what the strange couple was doing in the loo. People have had sex in cars, behind walls, in the bush and anywhere and the only blanket that would cover their shame would be excessive intake of alcohol.

Societal Scales will be shocked but also a bit amused by the experience and reaction of a beautiful lady working for a top bank in the country. She woke up in her bedroom with a splitting headache and no sooner had she experienced that than she smelled kunuka kwetinyawo neticatfulo lokubi kabi.

As she stretched further up from her pillow she screamed her lungs out when right at the foot of that very bed was a total stranger lijaha lelibi, limnyama shengatsi yi Radio- iOmega for that matter. He had her television’s remote control at hand and surfing through the channels. She thought she was being attacked and about to be robbed.

Nay, the gentleman calmed her down and further gave her a rundown history leading to his being in the house. He was a taxi man who had been hired by two guys to drive them around as they were drinking.

They were coolly seated at the corner of the bar when three ladies, including her, came invading that table with only one agenda in mind- sex from these cute hunks. All three eventually drove home together- kakhe dzadze phela.

The two gentlemen had picked her other two friends and they asked him to square up nemniyo wendlu lest she got angry nangayitfoli yena lentfo labayifunako. He swore by her dead mother ekhaya eMaphalaleni that he raped no one as sisi consented and cooperated and leading all the way from the bar to the house, up until they were together in bed.

She assured her that her friends were in the other rooms, nakhona tiyabulalana ngeSex all begotten because of the agreement reached at the bar when they were all drunk. She had no reason not to believe him for he was telling a convincing story and she was making fragmented recollections of the previous day’s undertakings. She could hear her friends laughing from the other rooms.

Later as they were laughing the whole idea off she lamented, nincono nine shemu bangani bami nitfole bafane labahle-lowami!! Even if the affair is normal and expectation of sex between the couples is legitimate, a drunk lover can be a nuisance or simple hopeless and useless.

This guy Mshumpe Mhlongo working eyingodweni eMaritzburg was visiting his girlfriend Nosigongonyo Maseko kwaGonqo. Owing to the nature of his job, he could only afford to come on Saturday night and go back on Sunday afternoon.

Along the way with a group of friends they drank anything that had a level of alcohol on it. He was fortunate to remember where the bus would drop him and staggered all his way to the homestead.

He was snoring even before he greeted his girlfriend who was waiting for him.

He was a log for the rest of the night regardless how much the lady probed him on the ribs. He was woken by some strange noise for the lady’s hut was next to a goat’s kraal.

He wanted to know what the noise was about and he was answered, “Timbuti leti; phela lesiphongo asikadzakwa ngulotjwala bakho, siyawati umsebenti waso.”

He got the message loud and clear. The sun was up and everyone in the yard was walking about kute umgudvwa nemshudvo longentiwa in the hut without attracting an unduly attention from members of the family.

Or the drunken master can be downright disrespectful ekhaya lebantfu. Mgawuleni was a guest for bedroom sport kaMalaza KaLomshiyo and despite his drunkenness, sex was great with his girlfriend. In the wee hours of the morning, he came out to pee at the periphery of the yard.

Not far from him was another male conducting a similar business. With their Joysticks pointing to the same direction, he made a derisive comment hoping the other guy was a fellow sex visitor in the homestead, “Yeyi Mfumbesi wami, siyabavuvubula.” Little did he know that the person he was talking to was Malaza lucobo lwakhe, father to the woman he was visiting.

He had caused trouble not only for himself but also for his girlfriend. Tjwala ke lobo nabudvunge ingcodvo yet you are to have or have had sex. A million stories of people who have indulged in alcohol and then indulged in sex have been told.

Some people would or have gone to an extent of forcefully demanding the pleasures of the Honey Pot and of course the law would take its course on the culprits. Nabosisi the way labadronka ngayo sebangayibamba indvodza and demand uMkhwembetsi by force and muscle. All Scales is saying is, sex is not a good idea when one is excessively drunk even with his wife or husband.

Magagula, an otherwise quiet and sexually lazy guy in the course of the week, would astonish his wife every weekend angadzakwa. He would demand sex anywhere, anytime, even in the presence of the children. Once given, sitawufathuza silwane size siyitfole indlela. Once on top and on track, asehlisilwane but would rather fall asleep over uMcukutfu.

His wife LaTsela was never sure whether to be happy or worried when uMtfombeni was inebriated!

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