Saturday 2018-01-20




By Dumisa Dlamini | 2018-01-13

The thickest and most adhesive glue that keeps a relationship between a man and his girlfriend or even his wife strong today is money.

 That money is provided by the man to the woman- at all times whilst they date or they are married. The fundamental idea here is that if the world were to be wiped off of all women, no men would be eager to go to work or derive any power. Emadvodza angalingani atsandzanane futsi like brothers. The sole and principal purpose all men go to work to be able to give the women they love money. Or rather procure property that will make them attractive to women. Now the indigenous proverbial definition of money is that ngumutsi wetintfombi. Any man who has money regardless how bad his character or appearance may be is prone to have a woman or more to his name. Societal Scales wonders today here, what exactly obligates a man to give money to a woman he dates, more so if that woman is not his wife? It would seem there is this innate desire yekudiza nje emajiteni that is natural. The other side  of the question would be what exactly gives women the courage to accept and even demand money from a man. Are they selling their love?

From school, the small boy would rather starve himself whilst he saves his pocket money so he can give it to Cinderella or Osiphayo. The habit catapults itself even when he has finished school and is working. He would be giving money to the woman he is dating at the time. Part of the obligation lies not only in that he loves woman but also that if he doesn’t give her the money some other men out there will. Masculine completion for a woman’s preference is nurtured and sustained by how much a man takes care of her financial demands. Whilst you give her a few hundred of rands once a month, there is a guy in the city who is well acquainted with her account number- uyati ngenhloko and deposits very healthy figures there for her. No matter how much you love the woman and have spent on her, you are not going to compete nengamula, ayidizi iyaholela. How many young man have lost the love of their loves to big guys who spin money and are even married. It would appear the love of women is inspired, shaped and directed by how much money she receives from a man who purports to love her. Nawungamuphi imali, she will not eagerly return your calls or reply your chats because she is not financially motivated.

Here is an imbalance, a woman who truly loves you will never ask you for money let alone demand it from you as if she is in your payroll. Expectedly; as a boyfriend you are going to give her whatever stipend you deem fit and come through if necessary to some of the things that need financial attention. On her own accord akayiteki nje indzaba yekutsi ute imali yerent this or that. However, the moment you start giving her half your salary, she develops a monetary-dependence-syndrome on your income so much that she falls sick in the elapse of twenty four hours after your payday ungamfakeli imali. A young pretty woman was so agitated in her office ingangeni iincontact from Bhekumuzi that she called him,Lamuhla imali awunginiki?” The young amn gave a volume of reasons why he could not deposit the money but promised he would be bringing it that evening. “Malini lolotayiletsa ngesandla yeBheki, angisiye wekudlala wena phela mine? “The affair was all about money and nothing else. Often times than not, the man who excessively gives out the money to his woman  is the only who one in love, lodzadze akamtsandzi uhulula imali yesiphukuphuku nje. When the money is delayed she demands it.


By their nature women are very good spenders of money, bantfu nje labakwatiko kudla imalimore so if they haven’t worked for same. Here is a young man Mcacambi Matsenjwa who is said to have run a family business down because abediza kakhuku to a pretty woman he was dating. His family was ran a farm and had several shops and fuel stations in the country. He was the eldest boy in the house and his father trusted him with the business. Before he knew uMgabadzeli was getting calls from the bank due to non-serviced loans. He sat the boy down in the evening and wanted to know who was the recipient of such loads of money ranging from E20 000 to a whooping E45 000. He confessed he had a girlfriend who was studying in Durban who needed and even demanded the money weekly at times. Further investigation unto the matter unearthed that the said woman was dating lomunye halibawe lindiya and they were both addicts of a certain drug. All along, the money was used to support her habit. No woman who truly loves you will endlessly demand sums of money from you.The other side of the coin is as shiny though. Kute indvodza lekutsandzako lengakuphi imali. If he doesn’t give you money,  there is a another female out therelamuphako yena lemali. That said there is very thin line that separates romantical generosity nekudiza to the woman you love.

A brave woman who was dating a married man asked him why he was not giving her money? The man mumbled something about family responsibilities, debts, school fees and  other things that prohibited him to give her money. She patiently listened to all the excuses and gave him a stern advice.


“Ubonginika nami lemali ngoba uyakutfola nalakimi loku lokutfola kumfati wakho”.

She lectured him that as a side-chick she needed to be motivated as well because like his wife, she was giving him pleasure hence he kept on coming back to her house. “Akusilo licala Matsebula kupha umuntfu lomtsandzako imali even if she aint your wife”. The point here is that even for your wife to be happy she needs your money. Those married say, not only should you give her money for the households expenditures. Uyakitela nje tindathane tetimali, utsi yakhe and further not mention kutsi utayentani. That would keep the home fires burning. However, if for some reason udiza lengaphandle and she is battling with the bills from the little money that you give her, she will be very upset with you and may possible get someone else who will be generous not only with uMkhwembetsi but his wallet as well.

 Believe Scales here all men ayadiza in way or the other.


They pay rent, they fuel cars they don’t own, they pay tertiary education fees, they pay boutiques and buy groceries- all for women they purport to love. A man whose parents are starving bemukele sangalane and eagerly wait for imali yabogogo faithfully supports a woman who is not his wife every month. The money spent there is five times higher than what would sustain his parents monthly.


 The pressure is innate, societal and also comes from women themselves. Bahwaya sivalo nasebafuna imali  yakho and when it is not forth coming all they do bavala eLondon. Or they would go ice cold. You call or even visit her, she is just very cold- atsi unestress and until you make monetary providence she would still be stressed. Nibanengi njalo ninenikitela imali to her. That is why a sheer waitress in a not so busy eatery has a thousand pair of shoes, the biggest bed am most decorated bedroom. Her wardrobe live nje and each time she goes home ushiya unina ajabulile for she can provide for the family.


Next time she comes home, she will be driving her little red and shiny tununu Renault- courtesy of a man obligated to give money to the woman he loves!

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