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YOUR PERSONAL FINANCE THIS WEDDING SEASON

By Nokwanda Dlamini | 2022-12-04

Every year, wedding season tends to hit like a ton of bricks — a ton of bricks where every brick is made out of money.

But in 2022, after two straight years of nuptial cancellations and postponements thanks to the pandemic, soon-to-be-weds are champing at the chance to get their ceremonies back on the calendar. And while that might be a relief for the stars of the show, for guests, it also means a whole lot of expenses — all at once.

So,if you’re panicking about how you’re going to afford the Megatron of Wedding Seasons, you’re definitely not alone. Here’s a quick guide to getting through this in one piece, financially.

1. Do all the Research.
How much will each wedding set you back? Do the math (sorry). Include transportation, accommodation, clothing, gifts, and meals outside of the event itself.

Also include some wiggle room in the budget for when (or if) unexpected costs pop up. Now pause — feel free to decline the invites where that tally is already starting to give you stress hives. You’re not made of money! Besides, the pricier a wedding destination is, the more likely the couple will expect a lot of “no’s.”

What about bachelor parties / trips? Bridal showers? We know how fancy bridal showers have become today, and how we’re all expected to chip in towards décor, and still buy gifts and themed outfits. Factor in those costs, too. Don’t forget to consider exchange rates if the event is out of the country. (Trying to decide which of these to keep and which to skip? We’ll go over those decisions in a minute).

Once you have your total, divide that by the number of pay periods (or, if you’re a freelancer, the number of weeks/months/checks/whatever) you have between now and the wedding. Can you afford to save that amount out of each check? If not, it’s time to start narrowing things down.

2. Review your current short-term goals.
Check in on the goals you’re already saving toward. Can you pause your progress — aka divert some or all of whatever amount you’ve been putting toward those goals every month/week/paycheck — until this Double-Gulp Wedding Season is over?

Note, because we know you weren’t going to do it, you were just thinking about it: Wedding expenses aren’t typically a job for your emergency fund. We recommend avoiding using that account if at all possible.

That said, everyone’s situation is different. If things are really, really tight, try to only use those emergency funds for the weddings you absolutely have to go to — and make a concrete plan, and maybe some budget adjustments for a while (with a timeline!), for how you’ll replenish it afterward.

3. Look for tradeoffs
Attending weddings was expensive before, but with everyone eager to get back out there, inflation has hit travel and hospitality particularly hard. Now more than ever, it’s time to downsize where you can, especially if you’ve got multiple weddings to get to.

Here are some ideas to get you thinking about the expenses you have to cover, and where you might be able to cut back a little.

Travel: Obviously this is where the best cost-cutting strategies will come in. Organise group transport with other wedding attendees and share the costs.
But if it’s worth spending the extra money for peace of mind not to mention avoiding last minute cancellations.

Accommodations: Could you go in on a rental house/apartment with a few friends instead of paying a large amount of money per night for that fancy hotel room? Or maybe even crash with a friend who lives nearby?

Attire: Do you really need to buy a brand-new outfit for the wedding, or can you wear that amazing sequined jumpsuit again? Or maybe overhaul your go-to dress with some new accessories and a cool thrifted coat? Or investigate clothing rental? (This is actually a great side hustle idea for someone out there!).

Gifts: If you RSVP “no” to a wedding, could you splurge on a nicer registry gift? If you RSVP “yes,” could you opt for one on the cheaper- or more affordable side? Sometimes couples are happy to just have you present to help them celebrate, no gifts required. Just don’t feel obligated to spend more than you can afford — especially if you’re already traveling to attend. (Btw, the etiquette experts agree.)

4. Make some hard choices
There are only so many weekends in a year. After a certain number of invitations, you’re simply not going to be able to attend them all — and you might have to start making some cuts.

Do you really need to go to the wedding of that roommate you lived with for one semester back in varsity, whom you haven’t spoken to in years, or can you maybe send a gift through? Ok, hold your horses, I’m not being mean, nor fighting you, I was just checking. That’s all! Is the wedding in another country with no plus-ones (aka no travel buddy)? Consider your priorities.

Let’s say you’re on a really tight budget. Which friends would understand if you couldn’t make it out?
Attending your friend’s wedding can be a meaningful moment for your friendship, cementing its place in both your lives for a long time, but it also doesn’t need to be make-or-break.

Friendships survive this kind of thing all the time, I promise — especially in extreme circumstances like our current moment. If you’re still unsure how to proceed, consider these scripts:
“I really want to be there for your big day, but I’ve been taking stock of my finances, and unfortunately, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it.

I’m so sorry! Can I make it up to you by taking you two to dinner the next time I see you?”
“I’m so excited to come celebrate with you, finally! Looking at my budget, though, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make both the wedding and the bridal shower, so I think I need to skip the bridal shower weekend.

Can I take a rain check and then maybe next year we do a fun weekend trip to make up for it?”
You’re welcome.

5. Commit to your plan
Congrats, you have your final set of “yes” RSVPs — one big thing down! Now it’s time to factor your final savings plan into your budget. (Speaking of your budget, this could be a great time to double-check that yours is working for you.

If not, consider making some changes). Since you’ve already looked at your existing short-term goals, you should know where your “wedding season fund” deposits are going to come from. We recommend saving that money in a separate account.

Two more notes before you embark on your savings journey:
We know that your savings goal success often depends on what we call your money mindset — aka the way you think about money (how you were raised, society’s toxic messaging, etc), and how it’s influenced your spending/saving habits.

Our money personality articles have covered the different money personalities that we may have.

If you have to forgo some of your little pleasures to get you to your goal, OK. But don’t forgo all of them! Saving to attend someone else’s wedding shouldn’t make you miserable. That’s a recipe for resentment, and anyway, it’ll defeat the purpose of going to the wedding: celebration!

The pandemic changed everything — including your bandwidth
It’s still a stressful time in general, and everyone knows it, whether they want to admit it or not. If you end up having to say no to a few weddings, forgive yourself. Considering how busy this season will be, chances are the soon-to-be-weds will understand.

If and when you successfully pay for all the weddings you do attend — celebrate the financial witchcraft you just pulled off! If you want some help, you can book some On The Money sessions delivered by Old Mutual Eswatini at no cost to you. Contact Swaziland@oldmutual.com or send a WhatsApp text to: 7634 0055.

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