Sunday 2020-08-09




By Dumisa Dlamini | 2020-05-23

When a shopkeeper opens his shop (s) he expects potential clients not only to behold and touch his displayed goods but also to buy them.

Granted, at some point, a client may come and buy goods wherein he has insufficient funds. The shopkeeper would understand and accept the amount, having quickly calculated and embraced his loss. However, it would discourage any shop owner to have the same client coming over again to buy, timbasha tishoda. He would never have the same mercy on him all the time. That said, do appreciate the tilted Scales where some buyers will ever be in or around the shop admiring goods they would never have money to procure. The guy vele nje akanalutfo etikhwameni telibhuluko lakhe.

He poses like a customer all the same, all the time, familiar, regular and useless sight to the shop keeper. Metaphorically, a man approaching a woman for love and sex assumes the same position of a buyer wherein the woman figuratively assumes the position of a shopkeeper.  The guy will behold, appreciate and even negotiate the woman on her profoundly and presumed displayed goods. Sadly, when same is placed on offer for him to have, the man has absolutely nothing to give to the woman in terms of warmth and good sex. Uvala sitolo sakhe ke lapho Khumlile!

There are countless reasons why a man would have absolutely nothing to offer to a woman in bed when the latter expects so much of him, having opened up to him in every way possible. Such shortcoming could be temporary, occasional or permanent. However, at the time it occurs, the guy would have nothing at all much to his embarrassment and fury of the woman who would have released all her fighting tactics” ekubulalana kulomshudvo wemphi yaphansi. The guy may come home to an, “Open shop by a willing seller to an impoverished potential buyer.” He has been offered sex  somewhere, not a long time ago and all he has etikhwameni takhe yinshintshi. He would not go far with his already drained hosepipe to extinguish fresh fire flames of the woman here beneath him.

 What does a woman do with a man and her passion for sex especially when each time she offers the best of herself in bed, the guy comes acutely wanting? She will start digging into his movements and feminine associations and should she find out he is dating someone else, she will fight like a wounded tigress. She would have spotted the cause kutsi titfululwa yini letikhwama takhe umntfwanababe. Like shopkeepers, women want value for the goods they offer to men. Atinalutfo tiNgagara-fakori, fakori, almost always.

Just imagine Madam if this guy was your husband; like a loiterer he is ever at and around your shop but has absolutely nothing to offer. Often times than not he will be even attempting get inside. The guy has no uprising, at least not one firm enough for action satisfaction uyafuca. After such a long huffing and pushing akevakali nekutsi wentani ke inside. Some marriages exist and persist under such conditions wherein the wife does not, has never and apparently will not get good sex from her husband. She has children though with the same guy who cannot perform because he has nothing to offer.

He may have been good at a point in time until sickness crept in. She has so much on display and willing offer –for a good competitive price umnumzane can only behold, appraise, touch even but never reciprocal on offer. And yet here is the Holy Book, giving not one reason, justifying a spouse to cheat on the other - not one. What are women supposed to do when their men- husbands in particular have nothing to offer? Even in this many lockdown days where one cannot put blame on fatigue due to work, lack of time or cheating. Solo kute lutfo nje. Matfumbendlala Gadlela was even intimidated by the very naked sight of his beautiful wife because he failed each time he tried.


He could see the disappointment, anger and frustration written all over the woman system and appearance each night he attempted. Emadvodza kuyengana ke, he met Matotoba Tsabedze on their way from edibhi, wayihebeta lendzaba yakhe yekujamelwa yintsaba yaLaMndzebeel lapha endlini. He offered emakhambi for a solution, he had to drink twice a day, for a week at least which he duly accepted and faithfully complied with the instructions.

 Back in the bedroom, the woman was short of getting into bed netidziya because it served her no purpose kukhumula. This day in time, Gadlela Menyuko feeling kukhona lokwenyukako extended his hand and touched the woman. In response, she blurted out, “Ngike nje ngikhumulele lite ke mina utangitfola kahle”. Luck and treatment unto his side all systems went as commanded. He rewarded his good friend with a whole beast inkhomo yemasondvo. You can imagine the frustrations men go through when they have absolutely nothing to offer to their Dames- in-between a clean pair of sheets- konkhe kubekiwe ebaleni to hold and have.


You know, once a woman is certain she will never get the best of you in sex, she will always make bold steps away from you to get sex elsewhere. The least she could do is cheat on you but bold enough she would go for someone else. Sydney Gwebu had absolutely failed to convince Sindiwe he would ever make her happy in bed. Umntfwanebantfu tried but it was clear that kute kwakhe lokusuma kucine for any effective insertion. The woman was a nurse eMahlangatsha in a clinic eMambatfweni and stayed in a lone house in proximity to the health institution wherein Gwebu would visit atoyingayinga nje in bed.

 She took a bold move wagana lelinye lisotsha stationed in a cordon line close by.

 Come this fateful weekend Gwebu boarded Zimeleni Bus Service to check on her. Lo and Behold! As he pushed the door in the lounge, he was confronted by the finest body build human structure in boxers with a television at hand surfing channels. The guy looked every inch comfortable in a space he considered as his. Shortly the woman emerged from bedroom with a towel loosely tied over her breast and barely covering the “Subject Matter,” there below, taticedze kubulalana emini nje. The woman introduced yena Mambane to the guy on the sofas. The moment he wanted to cause noise, the woman asked him a simple question, “Uwekwentani nje emphileni yami Sydney, uwani nje, ungivakashela utokwentani la.”

He understood what she meant and recalled all the times he absolutely failed her in bed. He bolted out of the house like a mad stallion and never looked back.

 The girl has made a firm stand, shut the door on the face of the non-performer and opened a new one for a customer who would procure the goods and use them effectively for both the seller and the buyer to enjoy value for the effort given. Women may not always be expressive of it, but they know when you have absolutely nothing to offer in bed be it on that point in time, occasionally, frequently or all the time.

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